Float Like A Butterfly

“Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee” – Muhammad Ali
“As with the butterfly, adversity is necessary to build character in people.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin

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Took a few days off from blogging.  The pictures have been done but I just had to take a step back.  I always write what I feel, what I am going through here. I don’t know if it always resonates with people. The past few months have been hard, and believe it or not, I have tried to be upbeat, seeing the bright side of things, looking for that proverbial silver lining. But sometimes, I have found in life, be it RL or SL, it’s the small things that just set my temper off. Recently that has been the case.  People just getting on my last nerve. I have stated before that I absolutely hate confrontation.  It makes me uncomfortable. I do find it easier to stand up for those I care about than I do myself. I think that’s something that a lot of feel. But lately – I have just been letting my feelings fly when it comes to things.  This has recently let to me losing some people from my life. And the thing is, I’m just upset I didn’t kick them to the curb first. Kinda like how I felt when my last serious RL relationship ended over 5 years ago.  I wasn’t sad, I was just pissed that I didn’t drop him before he could drop me.

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I am a social butterfly – I always have been in both lives.  I don’t just have one group of friends.  Even those I consider the closest to me in both lives – they are from different circles, different cliques.  It’s how I have always been. Each feeds my soul in their own way.  We are not one dimensional beings. Shows like “Friends” always seemed fake to me cause it’s like – they can’t just be with each other?  Seriously?  And never one huge fight that breaks up the group?  That is beyond fiction – that is fantasy. And one thing I have discovered through being around all these different people, is that bullying occurs in so many different ways.  It’s not just name calling and threatening.  It is also passive aggressive behavior and making people feel badly for sticking up for themselves. Two specific examples come to my mind when I talk about this.  Someone I was close to at one point (considered her family) and another was an acquaintance that I put up with basically cause of people close to me who were close with them. Both are out of my life pretty much right now. And truth be told, I’m not sad about it. Just annoyed I didn’t do what was right for me – albeit difficult with one – and just say “I don’t want you in my life anymore”

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It’s one of the things I dislike most about myself.  A cycle I don’t know how to break.  There is nothing wrong with ending relationships. But we feel bad about it, even if the relationship no longer does anything for us. Well at least I do. I hold on to what the person ONCE was to me, instead of what they currently are.  And it does stop me from growing as a person. Sometimes it seems like it’s harder to let go of a friendship or even a really close acquaintance, than a romantic relationship. I don’t know why that is. Maybe cause we are taught that friendships should last forever, but just like in romantic relationships, people change and grow and outgrow each other. It’s NOT a bad thing. It’s humanity. Birth, Loss and Rebirth are something we always do constantly through our lives – maybe not LITERALLY, but metaphorically we are in constant flux as humans. We go from pupae to caterpillar to butterfly hundreds of times in our lives. It’s when we don’t let ourselves spread our own wings out of fear of upsetting someone else, that’s where the real hurt lies.

Hair – Rockstar Hair (HUD A) – Catwa @ The Biker’s Choice Fair (EXCLUSIVE ITEM)
Eyebrows – Zion Black Eyebrows – Nuuna
Lipstick – Lumina Lips in Crimson – Glamorize
Necklace – Malina Stone – Maxi Gossamer
Earrings – Moderno Earrings in Black – Apple May Designs
Jacket – Horizon Jacket – Wicca’s Wardrobe @ The Couturier’s Docks*
Pants – Ares Pants (female) – Wicca’s Wardrobe @ The Couturier’s Docks*
Shoes – Laneya Heels (SLink High) – Wicca’s Wardrobe @ The Couturier’s Docks*
Poses – Del May

* Denotes Limited Edition

Items from Wicca’s Wardrobe are Review Copies

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Float Like A Butterfly

  1. Very well written. I sometimes think for me, I push people out of my life not because I don’t think they’re nice people but because I don’t know how to get close to them. It’s a fear of mine. I want to be liked, I want people to like me and I want to be nice but then I get swallowed up in fears and insecurities and I probably close the door on some really awesome friendships or people because of my fears.

    • you have to let it happen naturally. i used to be the exact same way. then, after years of voluntary therapy and dealing with my learning disability and communication issues, i realized…hey..i’m pretty awesome…once i accepted me and liked me, i found i didn’t have to push. people became drawn to me cause i was finally comfortable with ME and i became a friend to myself.

  2. now…that being said…i know i am not everyone’s cup of tea. LOL and I know that i shouldn’t expect everyone to like me, but i am kinda surprised when they don’t, cause i think i am pretty awesome but i can also be loud and blunt and i get it.

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