“Sugar & spice & everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of ” – Nursery Rhyme
I am a Mean Girl.
It’s true, I am. While I do consider myself a social butterfly and I try to be kind to everyone, when it comes to certain things, behaviors, people, especially those I love the most, I can be a total and utter bitch. Even those I don’t know that well…I can be, well….I joke that I was absent the day they handed out the ability to blow sunshine and roses and unicorn farts up people’s asses. That being said, I have been thinking the past few days as to what brings that mean girl out in me. I mean she’s not always there. I really don’t like making people feel bad about anything. I also think it is so important for women to uplift and support other women. I also believe that with some people you just have to be blunt as hell. Apparently I have a special gift for this.
But while I do with every fiber of my being believe in all that, I also know I can be just a bitch if I feel wronged. I will not hesitate to do everything in my power to make your life as miserable as you have made mine (and by “you” I mean the universal “you”). Now, I will not go out of my way to make someone’s life miserable, but if the opportunity presents itself, I am ashamed to say that more times than I care to admit, I have taken the low road. There are of course lines I will not cross, especially in terms of SL. No matter how much someone has pissed me off, their RL is sacrosanct. It is something you simply do not touch (I’m talking to you people out there who decide to go and meet your married partner, have a little nekkid fun and then act all surprised and butt hurt when said partner goes back to their spouse. They normally will NOT leave and I have yet to hear of anyone willing to turn down free sex with someone they find kinda sorta attractive in RLand have an emotional connection with in SL, especially if they haven’t had RL sex in a LONG TIME).
But I digress. I was talking with a friend of mine tonight after doing a lot of thinking all day about it. Savvy is someone who has been at the end of my bitch stick more than once. I have no idea why. Cause here is the thing, and I actually said this to her…I really really like her. Like I always have a really great time when I hang out with her. She’s smart and funny and insanely creative. I have no idea why I feel the need to be uber blunt, judgemental and what not with her, and it’s not fair. There are a few people that I am like that with (waves at her sister Kat). And I sit and I think about it. And I truly love these people. But I am extremely hard on them. I have no idea why. I think sometimes I am being soft and sugar coating stuff and then people say to me “Wow, Bella, that was harsh” and I just sit there and think huh…what? wait? what? But they asked me for my opinion….I was just being honest. And maybe it’s due it part on being on the extremely high functioning end of the ASD spectrum. Certain social graces and niceties completely delude me.
Apparently this fact is so well known about me that last year when an acquaintance came to me and began talking about an issue and asked my advice on it I happily gave it to her. I actually felt like I was getting to know this person and I was personally happy with the conversation. I later on learned that this person was NOT happy with how it went, going to a mutual friend of ours and saying what I said…to which the response from the mutual friend was to laugh and go “You really shouldn’t ask Bella’s opinion unless you want to know the truth.” At first I was taken aback. I wasn’t aware that I had this reputation. But over the past year or so since I have found out, I have embraced it. I am proud of this fact. It has brought out a confidence in me that I never had before. And what really amazed me is that, for the most part, those who I hold near and dear to me….appreciate me for it. It’s one of the reasons they do come to me. I do sometimes apologize for how I word things — and more often than not the response I get is “Don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t have come to you if I didn’t want the absolute truth”. And that makes me feel great.
Maybe this came about due to my years in the theatre. Thick skins are a necessity I have a manager at RL work who says she loves working with me cause she can be blunt with me and I back at her. Not rude, but open and honest. I rarely take things personally when it comes to my work in either life. When I ask someone’s opinion, I actually want it. I know I can be pretty dense sometimes, so I *NEED* people to be blunt with me. Now, I know some people can not take that. Some people need to be coddled and pet and softly cooed to and have those rainbows blown up there ass and they get angry and upset with me when I don’t do that. I used to feel badly about that. But not anymore. I will never go out of my way to be mean or hurt someone, but in my life, my truth is that saying the truth as I see it as plainly as I can is the best way for me to live. If that doesn’t work for you, well, that honestly is not my problem. I’m not the person to come to. If you don’t like what I have to say and how I have to say it when you come to me, I just have one thing to say to you:
Boo You Whore! – Regina George
Both Items Pictured Are From Kim Lyssette’s New Line (Kim was formerly the designer behind Liv-Glam’s K Collection)
Hair – Bed Head in Monotone – Ploom (this is SCULPTED hair, not mesh)
Lipstick – Volume Pack 1 in Fire (Dark) – MUA **NEW**
Jewelry – Urban Ammonite – Maxi Gossamer
Outfit – Allie – Legendaire*
Shoes – Underground Threads in Black for Maitreya – [CX] @ Uber
Furniture – Giada Drawer Cabinet – Aria @ Uber
Lamp – Xandra Floor Lamp – Trompe Loeil @ Uber
Poses – Del May
Hair – Flip in Monotone – Ploom
MakeUp – Autumn (Full Set) – MUA
Jewelry – Raisa Drop Set – Maxi Gossamer
Dress – Alive Dress – Legendaire*
Furniture – Painting – New Arrival Painting – Apple Fall (Gacha)
Chair – Slipcover Chair in White – Apple Fall (Gacha)
Poses – Here Kitten Set – LABoS
*Denotes Review Copy