At work today I had a customer come up to me with a shirt from another department on the other side of the store. When I rang the shirt up for them, it was highly discounted and I happily said that will come to seven dollars and something cents with tax. I was promptly informed it was on a $6.99 rack (my store normally does not have those) and it should be less (originally the shirt was 40 dollars). The customer then said to me the words that have ALWAYS been the biggest red flags to me in the world “Would I lie to you?” Actually, I had no inkling at that time that maybe she was lying, but the minute she said that, I thought to myself “Yeah, you would” and I kindly told her I would walk with her to the department where she got the shirt so we could check out the price. Needless to say, she did not like that answer and stormed away.
I don’t believe anyone when they say they NEVER lie. There are all kinds of lies…lies of omission, white lies, big lies, lies to get a head, lies to protect someone we love, lies we tell ourselves. At one point in our lives, even if it was just when we were little kids and we told a lie so we didn’t get into trouble, we have all done it. (Now I do see a distinction in keeping something PRIVATE and a lie) Saying you’ve never lied, is itself….a lie. The concept of lying, telling lies and being lied to has been a very big theme going through my head over the past year and a half. Especially in regards to Second Life. I myself am pretty open about who I am and my feelings. THAT BEING SAID… I am not always honest about my feelings when it comes to those I care about. I tend to “hold back” (no one likes to say LIE) my true feelings in order to spare those I care about….that is until I explode in typical Sagittarian fashion. Regardless, we all do it, but where is that fine line from holding back the truth to protect someone else and protecting ourselves? When we don’t want to or unable to keep a promise we made to someone? Do we lead that person on and let them keep believing that we will indeed fulfill the promise we made and just come up with excuse after excuse of why we have not done it yet? Or do we “man” up and say “Look, I know I promised…but it’s not going to happen” or do we in true SL Fashion, just disappear from that persons life and from the grid as we knew it and start over under a shiny new avi? Either way, people are left hurt and in many cases, devastated. Call SL “Fake” all you want…when it comes to broken hearts, dreams and promises, it is all too real.
There are the liars and then there are those who are lied to. We have all worn both hats. Recently, someone very dear to me had to come to the realization that something she was told by the man she loved was a lie. I don’t believe that it was a lie when he told it to her. I believe that the promise was made with a true heart, but I also think as their relationship got more “real” and the promise was very much a real life promise made in second life…he didn’t know how to handle it. Instead of owning up to it months ago, he just disappeared. This was a 4 year relationship, started in SL and moved physically to RL. This was not just pixels on a screen and a voice over the headset. This was a flesh and blood human being he held in his arms. I watched my friend helplessly realize what was happening and as someone watching it’s a helpless feeling. Especially when the broken promise almost left her homeless. There is nothing you can do or really say, except be there for that person. I personally feel, when lied to, the worst part is that of feeling stupid or like an idiot. We all have felt that at one time. We were duped, why couldn’t we see it, why was it so important for us to believe, why did we want to believe and finally, why didn’t that person see the faith we had in them and cherish that gift, instead of abuse it.
There are those people on SL who are so miserable with their RL’s that they do nothing BUT lie on SL. About who they are, what they look like, all the while demanding absolute honesty from those around them. I don’t understand those people and I never will and I am thankful I never will. Because, even at my lowest of lows in my RL, I have always had my integrity. I always knew it could be so much worse and it is going to get better. Has being lied to taken its toll on me? Oh most definitely. When it comes to finding out information about people, I could give the CIA Lessons. No internet footprint is just a big of a red flag as things just not adding up. Have I stopped trusting people? No. I still do. I still, for the most part, take people for their word…for the most part. Do I think my dear friend will stop trusting people? Not in a million years. It’s not in her genetic make up. I believe that those who don’t trust, are the ones who lie the most. Those of us who do trust, we are the ones most often duped, cause we would never act that way so we don’t expect others to. We get a bit smarter with each lie, with each heartbreak….more discerning. But we will never stop trusting people, believing in them. It’s who we are.
Hair – Anna Hair (A) in Blacks – CatWa
Jewelry – Akahana Lolita Jewelry Set – Moondance Boutique
Nails – Elizabetha (SLink Appliers) Moondance Boutique
Suit – Adele in Ruby – PurpleMoon Creations
Shoes – Sangria Heels in Red – Reign @ FaMESHed
Poses – Del May
Items from PurpleMoon Creations, Reign and Moondance Boutique are Review Copies.