We live in a disposable society. If something is broke we don’t normally attempt to fix it, unless it is a really high ticket item, like a house or a car. We think of trash as material things that no longer have use to us personally. In SL everything is disposable. How many of us clean something perfectly good out of our inventory just cause it’s older? I know I do. Heck we even do it with our friends. In SL especially, relationships, people, friendships are disposable. We unfriend and mute people for the stupidest reasons…cause they aren’t really real now are they? They are a bunch of pixels connected sometimes to a disembodied voice coming in through our headset. Now yes, even on SL people grow apart. Friendships no longer have the same hold. I have had it done to me more than once. I have fulfilled my need in their life and poof, end of relationship. I tend to be the opposite of that. I tend to hold on to friendships and relationships well past their expiration date…to the point where I find myself in a toxic environment. Even after I have stopped liking the person I was once friends with. It is one of the key differences between SL Bella and RL Bella and I have always said this….I put up with a lot less crap from people in RL.
Why that is I don’t know. Maybe because I do realize we are all human beings sitting at a computer, each with our own reasons for constantly logging into SL. Some do it out of loneliness in RL like I did. Others do it for the RP aspect. Creativity, whatever. We each have our own private reasons for coming to SL. And I always keep that in mind or try to. Recently that one thing I have learned about myself and what I require from those in my SL is that they not only value and care about those in their SL but they have a healthy love, appreciation and desire for the same things in RL. When I first came to SL, my RL was in shambles. End of a relationship, completely broke, no job. I had a choice — move to Florida and live with my mother or be homeless. 4 years later I am in Florida, still living with my mother, still single, but I am HAPPY with my RL. I took responsibility for it and I got a job, I have excelled at that job, I have made wonderful friends in RL and I have even been known to post on my FB – GOING TO LIVE ME SOME RL FOR A WHILE. And then I come back to SL to relax on my down time and I have found so much more appreciation for the time I do spend on SL and those amazing friendships that I have formed here.
What is has also done is make me realize that I can not have people who do not have the same views on the RL/SL balance in my life. We all know people who live in SL. For whatever reason, they have given up on RL. They fail to take responsibility for their position in life and blame everyone but themselves. Believe me, when I screw up, in both lives, I take responsibility for my part in it. No more, no less. There was a time when I refused to take any responsibility. I realized when I was like that I was a toxic person. Toxic people for me at least, are easier to spot in RL than they are in SL. Just like “the crazy” it’s a bit easier to hide the toxicity. They can move to a different clique or just banish an avi and create a new one. But like the toxic ooze in a Superfund site, it always comes back up to the surface. To quote one of my idols on SL – Caoimhe Lionheart – “The Take From” — People are not disposable, but when a relationship is toxic, it’s time to put it out with the trash. Sometimes the only thing that is salvageable is your self respect.
Hair – Irena in Black – Boudoir
Facial Piercings – Sinister Spiked – Venomous Rage Designs
Bracelets – Okaki Bracelet in Black – Mandala
Collar – Black Fierce Choker – Corvus
Corset – Skully Corset – Wicca’s Wardrobe
Skirt – Mini Skirt in Vinyl Black – Happy Undead
Shoes – Monarch Heels in Black – Reign
Poses – Take from Modeling Chair V.2011 – Diesel Works
Big Giant Ditto on everything you said Bella, I spend 90% of my time in SL styling because I love to, I still love those toxic people but I no longer like them so adios. I would rather be alone with a positive flow of energy than hang with people that suck the energy right out of me..And we have the very same Idol damnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Blessed be Spirit
Exactly Spirit. I still care deeply for those people, but I can not and will not and do not want them in my life. I think “like” is a much stronger emotion than “love”. You can love a lot of people but not like them. If i don’t like you i can’t have you in my life.